Caring For Mom, A Short History Part 1

On the Monday before Mother's Day 2009, my father-in-law died. This started an entire chain of events that led me to writing this blog. Dad and Mom Dempski lived for 50 years in Southern California in the same house where my husband grew up with his five brothers and sisters. Dad was a lifer in the Navy and spent his Golden Years in volunteer service to his community. Mom was the undeniable matriarch of the family, handling the household and business expenses and making the major decisions for the family. Mom never learned to drive, which I found fascinating, considering her six surviving children and being alone so much while dad was on board ship.

Last October, we moved the folks to Colorado because they were in their eighties and needed more help around the house. They moved in with me for a few weeks while my brothers-in-law made the house in Loveland move-in ready, building a ramp and setting up the furniture. Dad was failing in health and knew he would need the family close by to help care for mom. Their third son owned property with two houses on it, he lived in one and rented the other. Dad and Mom were going to be able to be independent, yet have family next door to check in on them daily.

Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease four years ago, after a fall and a hospitalization. Mom was agitated and walking the hospital corridor wanting to know who all the people were that were milling around. The nurses wound up restraining her to her bed and she was mad as hell! Imagine being tied down to the bed and not understanding why. Dad was not strong enough to help her when she insisted on making bad choices.